Sunday, July 18, 2010

First Entries Are So Awkward

Hello, world. I am a twenty-one year-old girl that has broken up with a lifelong companion: food. During a traumatic childhood, eating became my only stability, and I grew to an enormous two hundred and thirty pounds. Four years ago I found the motivation to lose weight, but was unable to maintain a "healthy" diet. Starving or binging are the only two options left for me, and I'd rather die before eating myself into a coma again.

So, I am separating myself from the substance of food. This is difficult because I am constantly under watch by my husband and my co-workers. They think I'm on a diet. Another sixty-ish pounds to go before they discover the truth.

My current weight is somewhere between one hundred and sixty to one-seventy, I think. Soon I'll be buying a new digital scale (excitement!). My old one was horribly inaccurate and I've been saving for a replacement. My goals are set at increments of ten. For example, one-forty, one-thirty, etc. I have no idea what my long-term goal is. I guess I'll decide when I get closer.

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